The last time I went to the oncologist almost a month ago, I was depressed for a few reasons, not just the leukemia i have. Money was a big thing, my husband another and the frustrations of living with a head injured man. The PA was very sympathetic, listened to my teary whining, telling me things I already knew, that my disease is chronic and mostly just a pain in the butt.
The tests from last time said what they said the other time, that there is no detectable leukemia in my blood. I had a good, quick response to the outrageously priced medication and may even be able to come off it permanently in the future. If only!
So, I do feel lucky in that way a cancer survivor can feel lucky. It's my second kind of cancer and with neither one did I need chemo or radiation or any kind of nasty treatment. I'm about as functional as I've ever been which has always varied, it seems to me. I don't need to go back to the onc. until April--six months.
I read this week that Jill Clayburgh, the actress from the 70s died recently from chronic leukemia. The article didn't specify which one, but it was like a slap in the face, or at least a dead leg. You know, when someone bumps the back of your knee with theirs and yours buckles for a split second. Like, whoa. I didn't really need to know that. It said she'd been living with it for over two decades. If i have that long, it will put me in my 70s. Not a bad run.
I still don't know how one dies from leukemia. I keep forgetting to ask my onc. or look it up. I think I'll forget again now and go back to my Nano novel.
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